Blueberry Muffins
by marysunshine81
Summary: Collaboration with Supsi85. We had Diane Lockhart and Bree Van de Kamp sit at the same table and this is what happened.


_A/N: **Supsi85** is one of my favorite authors (you can easily find her account on my profile) and when the idea of us writing something together came up, I felt honored that she actually wanted to work with me. It was a first time for both of us, so at the beginning we weren't even sure how to do it, but we soon got the hang of it and ended up having fun with this collab. _

_The goal was simple: get her favorite Bree Van de Kamp and my favorite Diane Lockhart to sit at the same table and we made it happen. We can only hope you'll enjoy reading the result of this experiment as much as we enjoyed writing it. And of course we'd love to hear what you think!_

_We don't own the characters or we might have made this meeting happen for real._

* * *

**Blueberry Muffins**

'_I don't have time for this,' _was exactly the way she felt when she was shown to the table she'd booked for two and saw that her 'dinner date' wasn't there yet. She checked the time, noticing only now that she was actually a few minutes early, which was surprising in the light of how she'd left home twenty minutes ago.

'_I don't have time for this,' _had been the line she'd unintentionally let slip out and what had caused the impromptu fight with her husband, due to which she'd ended up in an even worse mood than she'd been before.

Truth was she really didn't have time for this, to organize a birthday party for her husband's best friend, but she'd apologized right away. They'd still ended up fighting, about her long hours, her relationship with her work that had always come first. And she'd known he'd been right, so in the end she'd managed to get him accept her apology and let her go with a kiss.

She looked around in the crowded restaurant with a sigh. La Scarola was a popular place, even on workdays, but she'd chosen it to impress. She'd learnt that her companion was very fond of the Italian cuisine, so at least one thing was sure to go right tonight, because it was well known that the restaurant had the best Italian chefs in the city.

As for the rest, she had her doubts. She'd only met the Van de Kamps once after they'd recently moved to Chicago with their two kids. Her husband was hoping she'd bond with his friend's wife, so the four of them could do things together in the future, now that they were living in the same city. But just like he hadn't found the common voice with her democrat friends, she'd had trouble enjoying the company of his republican ones.

So it was safe to say that other things could easily go wrong tonight and even though it rarely happened, Diane Lockhart didn't exactly feel prepared.

….

For Bree the night had been one nightmare after another and it had barely even begun. First Rex had gotten it into his head to ask for a strawberry soufflé instead of the classic lemon one she would have whipped up her eyes blinded and one hand tied behind her back. But no, it had to be the one that would take ten more minutes. He must have been trying to punish her for something but she wasn't quite sure what it was, and anyway, folding in the egg whites was a precise procedure that deserved better than a distracted mixer hand.

While doing her final check-up, she found a run in her pantyhose. It had crawled up mercilessly right above her knee, as if trying to turn her into a street walker in the eyes of the world.

_Oh no you won't. _She spoke to the mirror in her head before jumping up and dashing to the bedroom.

It had taken a couple of extra minutes to change and as a result her schedule had collapsed. After resisting the urge to speed the whole way, the restaurant only appeared to her view at the last second. Bree steered the wheel one last time and took a deep breath before opening the car door. As the first heel landed smoothly on the asphalt and the valet had taken hold of the key she was handing to him, her breath got caught in her throat. There was another run in the exact same place and no chance of slipping past Diane to the ladies' room. No doubt she would be there already, waiting at the table for her unfashionably late dinner companion.

Time had frozen, as had her hand, and the man couldn't do anything but keep hold of the key, hoping she would let go. Bree slowly regained her breathing, swallowed and then met his gaze with a polite smile plastered on her face.

"Excuse me. I shall be right back." She said a little too sharply and snatched the key back with a force the man was sure could have torn off his whole arm. With the door securely closed she drove off, her heart hammering in her chest. She would fail this dinner and it would certainly diminish Diane's opinion on her. She would forever see her as the woman who arrives late for every occasion and with ripped tights. The thought almost caused her to drift to the wrong lane.

Once she had found a secluded area, she stopped the car and reached for her purse for the emergency replacement. They were wrapped tightly and she had to tear the packet open with her teeth. Could the evening get any worse? The moonlight revealed tiny leopard print on the spare tights and as she stared at them, she was certain she would cry.

...

"Diane", she said with a grin that grew wider with her anxiousness as she extended her arm. "How lovely we meet again. I apologize for my lateness. I assure you it's not a recurring habit."

"Bree," Diane widened her smile to match her companion's while they shook hands, "I'm glad you made it," she kept her reply short, not to give away her impatience.

"I don't usually dress this provocatively either." Bree quickly defended herself in advance and hid her feet under the table. "What can I say, it's been a colorful evening."

"Then it's probably time to unwind." Diane suggested, wondering what item of clothing Bree could be referring to, because she hadn't noticed anything unusual. But she wasn't interested enough to ask and Bree didn't seem too keen to talk about it either, so she waved to the waiter instead, it was time they focus on their orders.

"Evening. What would you two beautiful ladies like to drink?" The waiter asked with a flirtatious glint in his eyes. His skin was bronzed and he seemed rather fit for his age that Bree assumed was close to hers. She pushed back the impure thoughts before they could rise to the surface and decided to treat this man as if he was her priest.

"How about the Santa Margarita Cabernet?" She asked, turning to Diane.

"Looks like I'm dining with a wine expert." She smiled appreciatively at the other woman. Her choice made it clear that they obviously had their love for wine in common, maybe this evening would be better than she'd thought after all.

"Perfect", Bree smiled at both of them in turn, allowing the compliment to lift her spirits. "The whole bottle then, and maybe some San Pellegrino for both of us as well."

"Yes, please." Diane replied and nodded in the direction of the waiter, who stepped away with a smile. "How about the entree?" She inquired, turning the pages of her menu. "What would you like to have?"

Bree set her hands together on her menu and hoped to catch Diane's full attention. They had reached her favorite topic and it excited her so much she could barely keep her voice at an appropriate volume. "I absolutely must try their marinara sauce. I'm on a lookout for a place that could rival the one I went to in Italy. The entrees there were divine."

"Their spaghetti alla marinara is wonderful, although I have to admit I can't make that comparison, never been to Italy." She confessed, with an audible regret in her voice.

"You haven't?" The words rolled off Bree's tongue as she suddenly recognized the tone this woman must have allowed few men to hear, if any. There were so many things they both must have left undone for the sake of their lifestyles which yet couldn't have been more different. The intimacy of the topic made her uneasy and she quickly decided to fix her mistake to save the moment.

"Well I'm certain one day you will." Bree smiled politely and waved the waiter over, despite the fact that he was already on his way with their wine.

While the waiter filled their glasses, Diane took a last look at the menu, even though she already knew what she was going to have. Kurt had been right, Bree obviously appreciated the choice of the restaurant, she could barely hide her fondness for the cuisine.

"Have you chosen your entrees?" The male voice made Diane look up and she glanced at Bree, who was resting her eyes on her.

"Go ahead." Diane offered politely, guessing that the woman was ready as well.

Bree snapped out of her thoughts and nodded as playfully as she could at her companion. "It's been pointed out to me that I can't possibly go wrong with your spaghetti alla marinara so that would be my choice."

"Your friend speaks the truth." The waiter beamed with approval before turning to Diane. "And for you?"

"I'll have a Petto di Pollo." She answered, placed the menu aside and reached for her wine glass. "Let's drink to a lovely and productive evening." She proposed when the waiter was out of earshot.

"That it will be." Bree raised her glass and took a quick sip, tilting the glass high so that the liquid rushed into her stomach. She then reached into her briefcase and took out a pile of neatly stacked binders.

"I came up with a few suggestions beforehand, just to help us get started. Here's a French theme, a Russian winter one and...I admit this Italian one is a little daring as it involves the guests dressing up in mafia theme, black suits for men and long slits for women, those who are up for it anyway. I may have gone a little crazy there. So, what do you think about these ideas?"

"I could see my husband in a suit again, I won't deny that it's tempting," Diane replied with a chuckle, taking the binders in her hand to look at the suggestions. "Which would be your husband's favorite?"

Flustered by the question, Bree raised her glass to her lips and let her mind race in that short time. She could lie, but then again maybe Diane would understand her situation.

"I should be so lucky to know that. If you asked him, he'd probably just tell you to drop off a dozen pizzas and three cases of beer. Fine parties just don't excite him anymore, as much as I try."

Diane hadn't counted with such a reply, but she appreciated the honesty very much. Obviously Kurt would have supported Rex's idea of a perfect party, that's exactly why she and Bree were doing the planning. But she was also sure they would want a gathering their wives could be proud of organizing, because they were doing it for them after all.

"Then we probably shouldn't make it too fancy. We can do better than pizza though, I'm sure he has other favorites. As for the beer, Kurt might sabotage the party if there's none, so we might as well grant their wishes." She suggested a compromise, hoping to show she understood her feelings, without using the actual words.

"Yes...I suppose I can't escape that." Bree muttered more to herself than to her companion and when she noticed that Diane's finger had slipped from the files, she took the opportunity to snatch them away as quickly and subtly as possible. It was time to find out what she was dealing with here exactly. She snapped the briefcase shut and placed her hands on the table, fingers strictly entwined.

"Tell me Diane...what is your take on capital punishment?"

"I'm sorry?" Diane asked, staring at the woman, taken aback by her unforeseeable behavior. "What does it have to do with party planning?"

"I will have to do some ground work for this more...casual party, but I'd hate for the evening to go to waste so let's use this time wisely, shall we. After all, we'll be spending a lot of time together in the future and if I know where you stand on certain topics then it will help us bond so much faster." She gave Diane a reassuring smile.

"Are you sure about that?" Diane inquired with a chuckle, shaking her head slightly, not fully believing the women was serious. If there was one topic they should have been avoiding it was politics, if they wanted to make it to the main course at all. "Because I'm positive that you know where I stand on certain topics, capital punishment included and I don't really see us bonding over those issues, on the contrary. I'd hate for the evening to be ruined." She added with a smile, to make her words more powerful.

"I see you're a peacemaker." Bree marked and wondered why the woman was so reluctant to talk about her views, as if she expected for her to throw a scene. It had to be the tights. Would the punishment ever end?

Bree eyed her glass but decided to stay stern and keep her hands still. "Trust me, I'm not expecting us to agree but even if I bonded over similar views with Rex in my youth, I find the opposing ones just as fascinating these days. Life without political debate is not all that enthralling."

"Be careful what you wish for." Diane warned her playfully. "Sometimes I doubt Kurt and I will make it to our first wedding anniversary or through the next election year, while you've been married for almost twenty years. Yes, political debates can be fun once in a while, but we are trying to be cautious nevertheless."

Bree tried to wrap her head around this strange idea of a marriage. "So when they talk about Obama's gun-ban on the news, you quietly change the channel? And when they mention the executions, Kurt covers your ears?"

Diane couldn't help bursting out in laughter hearing the reply. "You are funny. And looks like our dinner is finally here." She added as she noticed their waiter approach with their orders.

Bree's head spun as she tried to act gracious with the waiter and at the same time read the woman who was so much like her and yet didn't seem too concerned about any heavy issues. How did she make it look so easy? What did she take it all out on?

"Do you shoot?" She quickly asked as she twirled the fork in her spaghetti. The marinara sauce smelled sweet, just like in Italy.

"I do." Diane admitted without thinking twice about her reply. It usually earned her some bonus points with Kurt's friends, which was better than nothing. And truth was she really enjoyed shooting, even if she surprised herself with it each time just as much as her friends when she happened to mention it to them.

The fresh rich flavor was almost enough to distract Bree from the conversation and its delightful turn, but she dived back in after swallowing.

"It's such a liberating feeling, isn't it? When I shoot, I imagine the target to be a distraction in my life, a wilted rose in my garden or an ugly gnome in the neighbor's yard." She shuddered at the memory of the continuous exhibition Martha Huber held on her front lawn. God bless her cruel soul and hideous taste.

"What do you think about when you shoot?" Bree asked, taking a sip from her wine.

"I try not to think of anything, because if I did I might never take a gun in my hand again." The feeling of betraying her father's legacy still crept back in her mind from time to time, but Diane's attraction to guns was undeniably stronger, though sometimes still frightening.

Bree briefly wondered if this meant Diane had used her gun on someone in the past but asking about it was probably a tiny bit too personal. Was that a killer's twinkle in her eyes? She couldn't tell and at the same time admired how poised and covert she acted, like a long lost sister.

"I always tell people they'll have to tear my guns from my cold dead hands but Rex says he won't bother, that he'll just bury me with my Winchester 1300 and be done with it." Bree laughed and felt something stir inside, a new kind of lightness.

The reply made Diane laugh too, and she was actually grateful for that. She had managed to get used to the idea of guns, because she basically had no choice with Kurt's collection, even though most of them were not for his personal entertainment. But she wasn't sure the time would come when she would be able to look at a gun without thinking of the damage it could do to people's lives.

"Would you believe it was only about four years ago when I first held a gun in my hand?" She decided to share this important detail with her gun-loving companion, even though she suspected her reaction.

"Well I'm not going to pretend it doesn't astound me that a Chicago bred, successful and up until recently a single woman such as yourself can feel safe without a little protection. If I didn't have my friend under the bed I don't think I'd ever sleep at night."

"And I don't think I'd ever sleep if I did." Diane smiled. "I even made Kurt promise he wouldn't bring a gun to our bedroom."

Bree had a brief sinking feeling in her stomach but she decided to deal with it later. It was hard to remember a time she had been able to convince Rex to do anything without some kind of a threat hanging over his head.

"It must be exciting, being a newlywed," she noted and instantly regretted letting so many emotional tones color her words.

_Exciting _might not be the word Diane would use. It was simply _new_ to both of them and it took some getting used to not living on their own anymore.

"I'm sure it would be different if we were a few decades younger." She kept her thoughts to herself, only implying it might not be exactly what Bree had in mind.

"Oh I didn't mean to suggest..." A nervous laughter escaped Bree's lips and she pushed it back down with a gulp of wine. If Diane thought she was prying about their more intimate moments then another bottle would be needed to get through this embarrassment. "It was a silly notion, forgive me. I'm sure all Rex and Kurt talk about together is football and fishing and not a word of us."

"Oh, I am sure of that too." Diane replied with a grin, she didn't feel she had to forgive Bree for anything. She was actually surprised the conversation was flowing quite well even though they hadn't talked much about the event itself. But that just made it all the more relaxing and enjoyable, along with the delicious dinner and the exquisite wine. "So what's the verdict on the marinara sauce?"

"Different." Bree set down her fork and looked Diane in the eyes. "But as it turns out, it might be one of the best I've ever had. Sometimes new things come with exceptional taste."

Diane had a feeling the compliment wasn't only meant for the food, but she wasn't sure how to react to it, so she just noted it silently.

"How do you feel about dessert?" she inquired, after swallowing the last bites of the grilled chicken, she'd enjoyed just as much.

All the meals Bree had had that day flashed before her eyes and after a quick but thorough consideration she came to a decision.

"Well why not go crazy and see if their tiramisu can rival the main course. I'm up for it."

"Excellent choice." Diane agreed, just when the waiter arrived at their table, having noticed they'd finished their entrees, to take their plates away.

"May I bring you anything else? Coffee, dessert?" he inquired.

"We'll both have a tiramisu and I'd like a cappuccino, please." Diane ordered, then glanced at Bree, "You?"

"Chamomile tea for me, please. No sugar."

"Sure." The waiter winked as he gathered the dishes in an experienced manner. Bree's eyes had smiled back at him before she realized it, but a small touch of gravy from her plate stained his white sleeve and from that point on he couldn't leave the table fast enough. Once he was out of sight Bree poured herself another glass of wine.

"More for you?" She held the bottle out for Diane.

"Yes, please." Diane moved her glass, so Bree could fill it. "I really should visit this place more often."

She tasted the wine slowly, savoring the sip as if it was her first, when her cell phone started ringing. She placed the glass back on the table and mumbled an excuse, reaching for her purse to find her phone. She saw Will's name flashing on the screen. "It's my partner," she explained before accepting the call. "Hi, can I call you back in an hour? ... All right." She placed the phone back in her purse quickly, not wanting to be rude. "I'm sorry about that, we have a big trial this week."

Bree set her glass down and took a quick look around her, subconsciously making sure no one heard her. Then she leaned towards Diane and kept her voice low.

"How do you juggle all that, the job and your home? You seem so...together."

"I never sleep." Diane said half-jokingly, accompanied by laughter. Further considering Bree's question, especially the 'home' part, she started to realize what she was getting at. She knew Bree had been a mother and a housewife for long years, while she could never imagine that for herself. Before marrying Kurt she'd always called the office her 'home'. "And truth is, I'm still married to my job, even though my marriage certificate says otherwise." She said it out loud, wondering if she made any sense to her companion.

"It's funny. I thought I had perfected the subtle dominance in marriage but when I look at you, I don't see which weapons you use. You just are, and you seem to manage it all." There would have been bitterness in her words had it not been for the fact she knew Diane didn't master the art of food preparation. However, it did not give her the usual relief but only heightened the fear that had been brewing inside since the moment they first met. There was a secret to a fulfilling life and the woman next to her held the key, yet it was possible she didn't even know it. Bree escaped her confident gaze for a moment and fixed the tablecloth. Then she put her hands back in her lap.

"That's quite a secret you have but I believe all women must have one."

Diane wasn't sure what to reply to Bree's observations. She wasn't used to people analyzing her like that and even if they had, she'd never been confronted with herself that way. She didn't believe she was in the possession of any secret weapon. All her life she'd been doing what she knew best, her job, that had got her where she was now and that had been how she met Kurt as well. And she was far from being a good wife, she most certainly didn't manage it all. It was mainly a testament to her husband's patience and his love for her, that they were doing well. And that was actually her secret.

"That's what makes us women." She smiled, deciding to keep her secret to herself. She wasn't one to judge Bree's marriage and no one could tell if she and Kurt would have still been together a few years from now. She couldn't even imagine herself being married to someone as long as Bree had been and that was just one of the many admirable qualities in her. "You certainly seem to manage it all as well. In fact I'm sure I'd have a lot more to learn from you."

"Well, if you ever need tips for a successful soufflé you know which door to knock. I can make those stubborn delights rise like no other." Bree gave her a wicked smile, happy to see Diane had passed the test and taken her compliment, all with a veil of mystery. It would have been such a waste to throw those words up in the air only to face rejection, but this woman knew their worth just as she knew her own.

As their desserts arrived, Bree became aware of how much time had passed. It had practically flown by and the thought of leaving soon made her a little wistful, until she realized they would keep seeing each other from now on. What a luck it was that Rex's old friend had such a high-class taste in women. She dug her spoon into the tiramisu feeling giddy.

"One of these days we'll talk about the boys. I'm sure it will drive them absolutely crazy."

"Count me in." The prospect of making a new friend brought a wide grin on Diane's face that she tried to hide behind her coffee cup. She hadn't counted with this possibility, but she very much welcomed the idea. "And I might take you up on that offer with the soufflé, although maybe I should start with something less challenging."

"Blueberry muffins." Bree's face lit up at the chance to share her special recipe. "No one can go wrong with those...except Susan but she has a peculiar style. You on the other hand I have faith in."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence and I'll try not to disappoint." Diane promised, feeling an unexplainable excitement inside, although she wasn't really sure this baking lesson wouldn't turn out to be a disaster, even if she had the best teacher. "And in return I could offer my services as your culinary guide in the city." She returned the friendly gesture with something she hoped Bree appreciated just as much.

"Fabulous. Chicago food tour by Diane Lockhart, restaurants pre-evaluated by those who seek legal help." Bree said theatrically and smiled with appreciation. "I'm sure you pick the cherries from the top."

"There's an upside to not mastering the art of cooking." Diane admitted with a grin, knowing she won't be judged for saying it out loud.

"Each an expert in their own field." Bree's thoughts shifted back home and she briefly wondered what Rex thought of Diane. At least he didn't have that stupid smirk on his face when he spoke to her but he had gotten better at hiding these things. It was hard to say if he should be rewarded or silently punished for that.

"And this kitchen is certainly going for gold. The tiramisu is heavenly."

Diane almost felt the same satisfaction as she did when she managed to win a new client for the firm. Those people skills she'd mastered due to her job definitely came handy tonight and worked like a charm. And it delighted her even more when she thought of telling about it all to her husband.

Even if the night had started off disastrously, it was ending much better than Bree could have planned. When she had told Rex about her date with Diane he had laughed the way he did back when she started compiling a cookbook for possible publication. Maybe he wasn't so clever after all. In fact, Diane might even be able to shut his mouth if the occasion called for it. The thought made her smile into her dessert. It was a new town, a new friend and a whole new life.

…

"So how did it go?" Kurt greeted Diane with the question when she arrived home.

"You were right, we have more things in common than I thought." She admitted and observed how a smile took the place of the worry on her husband's face, and she actually found it amusing.

"Does this mean you like her?" He inquired with a hopeful grin.

"Do you like her?" She realized that she'd never asked before and truth be told Bree didn't strike her as a woman who's company Kurt would enjoy.

"I guess." He shrugged and the gesture upset Diane more than his words.

"You don't even like her and you still insisted that I get to know her better." She accused him in a high pitched tone.

"I never said I don't like her." He reminded her patiently, trying to calm her with his voice.

"She asks weird questions, she checks out every guy that walks by and food is her favorite topic." She listed the first three, slightly annoying things that came to her mind about her new friend.

"You hate her. I should have known it's a bad idea." Kurt shook his head and it amused Diane how easy it was to confuse him.

"She's going to teach me how to bake blueberry muffins." She said calmly, with a wide smile.

"I love her blueberry muffins." He returned the smile, but the confusion was still visible on his face.

"Then wish me luck." She kissed him and turned around, thinking their conversation about Bree was over for tonight.

"So you like her?" His question made her look back, she was actually taking pleasure in confusing him that much.

"I never said that." She started laughing and left him with his conflicted thoughts, knowing he would come to the right conclusion on his own.

….

Bree watched carefully as the dark red liquid filled the glass, inch by inch. No one would know she added a little more than the night before and even before the rim met her lips she could feel the calm and happiness fall on her. This night was just another to add to the sweet memories. She opened one of the top cupboards and put the bottle behind the flour jar and then found a replacement for the empty spot in the wine cabinet, just to keep Rex from making stupid remarks. As she took another gulp, she thought of Diane, the observant eyes that saw deep but didn't laugh at her or pity her, the necklace that said she was in control and yet in contrast to the strange ease at which she mentioned her doubts about her own marriage. It was a combination she both admired and was intrigued by.

The house was silent in the way they become right after people move out but Bree knew they were all there, in their own rooms hiding from casual conversation, chores and most of all, from her. She drowned the rest of the wine and headed for their bedroom where she knew Rex would be reading one of his medical journals as he did every night, except Sundays when he filled the crossword puzzle.

"So, are we still friends with the McVeighs?" Rex asked without looking up from his journal.

Bree walked over to the closet, responding with silence to his passive aggressive tone. When she had taken her earrings off, she turned around.

"I can be friends with anyone, it's marriage that takes an effort."

Rex chuckled. "I just hope you didn't do your weird thing."

"Well you know me, never shy to throw a scene or pull a gun at my dinner date. I can be open-minded just as the next person and if you opened your eyes you might see that."

The topic seemed to make Rex lose interest and no further words were exchanged as Bree changed. Thoughts ran through her mind and she had to let them out once she was in bed.

"She's not like them, Gaby, Lynette and Susan…she's more like me and she looks at me the way Mary Alice used to. You know, she has this inner glow that reflects from her every gesture. That's the sort of day-to-day elegance every woman should possess."

Rex suddenly looked at her. "You know what? She might just be exactly like you."

"How?" As much as Bree had looked up to Diane, she was taken aback by his comment for reasons unexplainable to her.

"If you were born in this city, that would be you."

Bree tried to see the picture he painted but it didn't come together and there was one thing she was sure about.

"But she would never have been me in Wisteria Lane."

Rex gave her a rare loving smile. "That's true."

Bree lied down and placed her hands on the duvet, thinking of what made her exceptionally happy.

"I'm gonna teach her to bake blueberry muffins."

"Then Kurt might just become your biggest fan."


End file.
